Not all burdens weigh the same.
There is a story I carry with me from my university days. It involves our then lecturer Mr. Mukucha. His hoarse and brazen voice was more abrasive than a cement stock brick you find on a construction site.
So try imagine hearing this in his voice:
“If you were to take all the challenges from everyone in this room, put them into one pot and then dish out equal servings to the same people who contributed…
You may very well find that some of us would not cope with the smaller serving we have.”
He said these words after our class complained about the homework. To which he jokingly said “Be happy with your problems.”
Over a decade later I still remember his words.
Why am I reminded of this today?
Thinking about family, friends and community this Easter Weekend took me back to earlier this year when we attended the birthday party of a young star called Nakai.
Nakai’s parents are Zimbabwean. Now, if you know anything or have experienced something about Zimbabweans is that they’ve already found the nearest sadza spot, negotiated the price down and somehow made the owner their cousin.
Resourcefulness doesn’t even begin to cover it.
And this is perhaps where I draw the link between family, friends and community.
A Place called Pahari
Nakai’s parents co-own a restaurant in Cape Town called Pahari. A family-owned and run establishment that serves traditional Zimbabwean cuisine.
My partner and I first ate there in 2019, we visited again with a group of friends after lockdown and I have ordered in as well.
What a delight – trust me
A National Keypoint
The first family have graced the table.
Back to Mr. Mukucha’s Parable
Mr. Mukucha’s parable and those experiences at Pahari speak to the same truth about my musings this morning.
We all carry things. Some heavy, some hidden. Some sweet, some seasoned. What is light for me might be unbearable for you. What I think is a “simple challenge” might sit atop years of loss, sacrifice or silence.
And maybe that’s what Mr. Mukucha meant.
Maybe we’re not here to compare suffering but to carry and to be content with what is ours. To carry with dignity and care. To have awareness also that we never carry alone as those closest to us may be a lending hand and guiding light.
Sometimes, some of the most nourishing wisdom might come from an old pot. From a table set with love. From a lecturer who reminds you that your carry is uniquely yours and that you are capable.
What would happen if we swapped more stories instead of assumptions?
I ask because, at the table before eating some say Grace and in good company, we offer each other Grace.
If you’re in town, eat at Pahari. You’ll taste what I mean.
P.S – When reading about Zimbabwe I learned that it was Independence Day on 18 April 2025, the same day as Good Friday.
For those who have me on WhatsApp will notice a house with a green iron roof on my DP. That farmhouse has been a dream of mine for over a decade because of what it represents. It is located near a UNESCO World Heritage Site in Matobo Hills, Bulawayo.
The house is named Khayelitshe (Ndebele for “house in stone”)
I look forward to visiting it someday.